Monday, November 28, 2011

Too Good to Be True

I just read an online article about the possible signs of a cheating spouse and one of them was that the cheater was more attentive and nice to you. I've already mentioned how the summer of friendfinder (when my husband took out his profile on that site), he was extra ornery with me, very critical.
Now I find myself on the polar opposite and it makes me just as suspicious. He's attentive, affectionate in public, stealing kisses and the kicker is that he starts to get angry with me and stops mid sentence. I am talking about a very high strung angry person.
This is such an uncomfortable way to live, I keep looking at the line I've drawn in the sand, by this time next year I'll have made a decision and started to implement it. Until, then, it's like a chess game, I keep adjusting my pieces for action.

Until next time,

Jane

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Craigslist Personals and Other Online Ads

Craigslist.org.  A lot has been said about their personal ads, but most people, who have never looked at them, don't realize that there are (or maybe by this time, 'there were') two types of personal or adult ads. One type was filled with professional escorts, strip clubs and the such and the other is what you would expect. What people called many years ago, "the lonely heart ads".
Basically, a man looking for a woman for romance, maybe more etc etc.
On craigslist and other online newspaper style ads, you can have a picture of yourself too.
Replying is done through an anonymous email remailer system, so you can stay safe, providing you don't email or post your private email or phone number.
As far as I am concerned with this blog, finding a spouse or significant other on this site can prove time consuming. Other than looking through all the ads in your area and any others close enough to be available play grounds for them, you would have to have access to their email and do an account search/forgot login.

One other site I have had experience with is Oodle.com.  You can sell a boat, look for a piano or take out an ad in their personals. Same as criaglist, you would have to look through all the ads or have email access. Though with Oodle you can set up your own account and set up an alert. In other words, you will receive an email every time an ad is posted where the man or woman is 6 ft tall and Japanese, providing their are some distinguishing features of the person you suspect is cheating.

Until next time,

Jane

Monday, November 21, 2011

Find Your Friends Online

Just a quick tip for finding out if your mate is registered with a particular dating site.

If you have gone through the trouble of signing up with dating sites that you think your spouse may be on, there is one easy way to find out if they are on that site without having to sort through hundreds of profiles. On some of these sites they will occasionally ask you or have an option to "find your friends". All that is required is that you sign into your email account from their log in (I've had no security issues with this, though of course I am not using my personal email for this) and the site will scan your address book and tell you if any of those people have a profile.
Easy, as long as you have the right address in your email. For instance. I have my husbands new hotmail email in one of my address books but not his aol email and of course if he has more that I don't know about, I can't search them. The other consideration is your email provider. In hotmail, if you add a contact, they want to send that person an invitation...that won't work. But in Yahoo and Aol they don't.

Until next time,

Jane

Sunday, November 20, 2011

BBWPersonalsplus.com

There are two sides to this post, first I'm going to give a review of this site and the other is that after all this time I found a new "old" profile of my husband online.
Periodically I do a Google search for online dating or online sex personals and I go to the top recommended sites and do the profile searches I explained in my post about how to recover passwords and screen names from dating sites.
Because one day, not too long ago my husband asked me if I knew what BBW meant, I clicked on the site BBWPersonalsplus.com, which turns out to be part of the Spark network (on which he had an old profile on Americansingles.com).  On the page for forgotten password, I entered his two present email addresses and the old one he used for most of his profiles and there it was, he had a profile from 2001. Long before I met him.
But what gets me is this, we have had several conversations about the subject and every time he says that he never did that and the sheer number of old profiles I have found negate the possibility he tried one out of curiosity, so he's a liar.
Sometimes, a friend will tell me to just ask him, or confront him and I tell them that he will only lie.

Back to BBW Personals Plus...the set up is exactly like American Singles with all the same restrictions.
Read yesterdays post to get those details.

Until next time,

Jane

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

American Singles

I don't think I've mentioned this one, it's part of the Spark Network of dating sites. American Singles which used to be american singles.com, but now is spark.com. Anyway, this was one of the first profiles I found. See my blog about how I found it. But at that time I didn't review the site.
I guessed the password and got right in, there was a picture of my husband...imagine my surprise. Still this was from about two years before we met. He had his physical stats and what he was looking for....nothing kinky but he does have a pattern.
With American Singles or Spark....you can do a search as a non paying member, and read messages but not reply. I didn't see any racy photos, I don't believe they are allowed. In fact if you don't have a picture you can't log in.
 I got the impression there are a lot of foreign women (fake or real) that try to make contact. Though this is true on adult friend finder too and their sister sites.
Unfortunately because it was almost ten years ago that he used this site (makes you wonder what is wandering around about yourself on the internet indefinitely) I can't find out much about who he actually contacted. I can find out who he favorited and may have contacted but those members haven't been active for ten years either so there is no email or message trail.

Next time I will review one of Sparks sister sites.

Until then,

Jane

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

A Picture is Worth A Thousand Dates

The online dating sites always tell you that a profile picture will get you more views and therefore more dates. The same is true for blogs...people like to see pictures and I often think of that as I type away a new post here, but then I have to chuckle. How much fun would that be to add into my blog some of the profile pictures I see, males and females showing their most private parts on line for anyone to look at. Really, think about it, posting a face photo is one thing. And as far as eHarmony or Match.com or one of the traditional dating sites, it's not so odd (unless of course you are married or otherwise attached) but to put even a picture of your face on a sex dating site is beyond me.
Which makes me wonder, I know the men do it and apparently don't care but for a woman to do it, seems a little far fetched, which brings me back around to wondering how many of those profiles are fake.

Until next time,

Jane

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Dr Jekyll is Hard to Hyde

What are those sayings?
"The truth will out."
"Water seeks it's own level"
and so forth. In other words eventually things will come out that someone is trying to hide.
When I first found the friendfinder profile that my husband had...this was in Spetember of last year and the profile was started that July. I thought about that summer and it had seemed like I couldn't do anything right...that old saying of "If I say black, he'll say white."
The first thought is that he was unhappy with me, thought I was stupid as he was apt to say and that's why he went online for a relationship. But actually, I think it was that he had to justify it somehow in his mind and so he picked on me. There is no way I am going to be responsible for him behaving badly.

Anyway, the last few months it's as if we had just gotten together...well somewhat. We have had a good time, lots of laughing like we were for the first four years of our relationship...before last summer in fact.
And no, I wasn't fooled, though I was enjoying it. Almost thinking, maybe I can live like this.
Now, this past week give or take a few days, he is going back to mean and nit-picking. So, as I have been hoping, this time I will be on the look out and not miss this part of his cycle as it comes around.
So we will see.

Until next time,

Jane

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Keep a Low Profile

Okay, I have some "splannin" to do Lucy, for my absense....but for now let me give you men some advice.

When writing your dating profile do not use words like "hopelessly, lonely,  oh yea and the overused and never believed "I'm new to this or I've never done this before".... even if by chance it is true, don't say so!!
Don't want to see you in your karate uniform (means your not as good as you think you are), nice car, but it doesn't mean I'll go out with you, skip your dog and when guys hold cats for profile pictures, the poor cats always look like hostages!
Why would anyone put a picture of themselves with another woman?!

One time I received a message from a man on friend finder and it was like a small novel...he went on and on about my profile and made it sund very personal to me, but then when I logged in as my 5 other profiles, there was that exact same message in those inboxes too. Very funny actually.

So there's a bit of advice because I'm sure I could think of more if I had time.

For now,

Jane