Who's the Chump Now?

I happened across an interesting blog written by a woman who was cheated on, got out of the marriage and survived.

One of the things she mentions is that the cheater marries because he needs something from "us"....I'll let you read the post

WHY DO CHEATERS GET MARRIED?

But what struck me in particular was the mention of the financial trap.

When I met my husband I didn't have a lot going for me as far as earning potential, but I had my own home, no other debt and a great credit rating.
Today, I have rotten credit, my home isn't paid off (as he promised to do but when he had the money for that instead he helped his family and bought sports cars) and I have enormous credit card debt.

I know I'm trapped and I used to think he just put his family before me, but today it gelled in my mind.....he only puts himself first and helping out his family was as much about keeping me in debt as anything else.

But since last year I've had a timeline, a plan for what steps I need to take in order to be independent.
Even if I don't leave right away I need to know I can.


Until next time,

Jane

Dating Profile Anonymous Picture

I mentioned last time about becoming familiar with the different website anonymous user  avatar or grayman. So I thought about it and thought I may be able to help. Over several posts I will show you some of the anonymous user profile pictures for some of the websites I've already mentioned.

For today here are a few:
These first two are the female and male profile pictures from friendfinder (if the user doesn't upload a picture of corse.)

These next two are from zoosk...I don't know why the male has a couple in the picture.

Last ones for today....these are from an email from BBpeoplemeet again, I don't know why they represent male profiles with 3 different one.

Hope this helps.

Jane

Where is My Husband On Line?

I've mentioned before that if you have set up your own profiles on dating sites to be sure and check the emails they send to you in order not to miss one that may have your spouses profile featured in it.

Another reason to check these emails is this:  Each dating/personals site have their own graphics...the little picture of a heart, intertwined hearts, or other logo. They also have certain colors associated with their site and the set up of the profile pictures they send in the email are done a certain way. Some sites send a list style with fairly large profile pictures. Other send a grid. Some have thick blue lines between each profile...etc. You get the idea. Lastely, on each site, the "grayman" for those who don't upload a profile picture is distinctive. Some look like the generic hotmail man...or myspace man (of course the myspace has multiple men). Some are a gray shadow and so on.

One reason it is important to become familiar or pay attention to these differences is sometimes you can catch a glimpse of your spouses computer screen and if they are like my husband who is so smug that he thinks he's getting away with something they will look at their emails...or even possibly the site itself, while you are in the same room. So you catch a glimpse of an email he's looking at with rows of pictures....hmmmm, that's not facebook. Could me match or several others.

Right now my husband doesn't appear to be visiting the sites he had been for the past year, so I'm not stupid enough to think he has changed his ways, instead I need a clue as to what he is doing.

Yesterday he was looking at an email that sent rows of pictures, so as I was checking email this morning I was paying attention.

I also saw him signing up for a site and all I could see was a cartoon palm tree and it said "it's easy" and the grayman   looked like the msn man but two of them in bright yellow. Still haven't figured that one out.

Until next time....pay attention.

Jane

What's Your Fetish

Sometimes you need to search for dating sites that cater to someone's particular desires. I've already spoken about adultfriendfinder and their sister site alt.com  for assorted fetishes. But then there are things such as large breasts or small breasts. There are some sites that supposedly feature women with those particular qualities. Also on the adultfriendfinder sites and a few others, if you are a paying member you can add physical attributes such as bust size to your search criteria.

Is you spouse attracted to heavy or obese people, there are sites for that too.

This post is going to be about tall people. My husband is short and has a thing about tall women.....color me surprised. So I figured I better hang around a few tall people sites too.
One is datetallpeoeple.com. Sign up is typical...they send you the same type of notifications It is more G rated. Search is pretty easy and a lot of the profiles have pictures.
Here's the thing I just found out. I have a profile on here, stating that I am a tall women.....I have been contacted so far by tall men.

As I was looking at my home page, just this moment  I saw some links......one leads to a dat widowers dating site (amazing) and the other is datetallwomen. I suppose I better sign up there too.

Never ending, maybe there is an end in sight soon for me.

Until then

Jane

Not Enough Options

I wish I had more information on how to find a cheating spouse on craigslist, or friendfinder, but all I have is what I have shared so far......unless you have access to someone's email it takes a lot of online time, sorting and weeding out in order to get lucky enough to find out anything definite.

The extra Hotmail email my husband was using for all the online dating sites, over the last few weeks he has stopped getting much if any activity there. I've wondered if he has opened another alternate email address. It wouldn't surprise me since he has a habit of leaving additional email accounts all over the net. And some of the search engines I have mentioned, Pipl. Spokeo, zabasearch to name a few can't give me info on an person's email, if they don't put their real name on it when they register.

But the one thing I have learned is to wait and keep quiet. Eventually he will slip, or something else wil tip me off.

Until that happens,

Jane