Just the Ticket

Look out, I have officially shifted in to anger mode.

There is a venue coming to town next month I would love to see. Not something I normally do in fact.

My husband tells me last night that he tried on his phone (not a very good phone) to look up on how to buy tickets for this venue, but couldn't figure it out. He tells me we may as well go and why don't I figure out how to buy the tickets and of course I agreed.

Then this morning after thinking about it I have decided that as much as I want to go I am NOT doing the leg work here. If he asks I'll tell him, "You can figure out how to set up extra email accounts, how to sign up for dating sites and how to apply for and get credit cards without telling me. So if it were important for you to do this one thing for me I'm certain you can figure it out."

Until next time,

Jane

Three Strikes Your Out

Sure, I can keep asking him why he looks around on online dating sites and precipitate a fight, but I'd rather spend my energy on something else.

After all, I told him three times that sort of behavior was unacceptable and why would he do anything that may make me think he's being unfaithful, but he continues to do the same trashy things. So that must be his answer. I know he heard me, he even responded to the conversation and I know he's not unintelligent. Stupid maybe, but that's a different story.

It took awhile for the reality of his actions and what they mean to sift down into my core, and it's a sad sad feeling but it's the final truth of my marriage. It's time to go. Maybe I can't leave tomorrow or next month but I will .

until next time,

Jane

30 Days of Fun for One Low Price

Until recently to pay for access of Adult Friend Finder, or any of their other sites, which was the only way to be able to view someone's complete profile or interact with them,  was a decent chunk of change per month. But worth it if that's what you want.

But suppose you don't want that sort of recurring financial commitment?

Now you can pay $2.95 in order to see one members profile and have access to seeing it for 30 days.

It's called a "single profile view"

I was trying to see how the charge would be labeled, but can't find that information at this time.

I do have that information for some of the other sites, good to know. After all, who would be suspicious of a $3 charge on their husbands credit card or bank account?

Until next time,

Jane

Is He Cheating Using Mobile Device or Computer

Wonder if your spouse or boyfriend is using his cell phone to cheat? Have you already found one or some of his online dating profiles?

On some of the sites...next to the username there is a small graphic of a computer screen or cell phone. That tells you if your cheater is using his computer or has added the sites mobile option.

So far, my husband has little computers next to his cheater names. Now that he has a smart phone will those change?

Until next time

 Jane

Time to Come Clean

I had a moment today when I asked myself..."Did my husband really over explain why he was going to take a shower before going to work today?"  Really. I have never heard him give me reasons for showering. Red flag anyone?

Funny too, because the past few weeks he has been very nostalgic about when we first got together and how pretty I look in pictures and so on. And I have to admit that I did sit back and become a bit complacent......wouldn't it be so easy if he gave up his old ways and I could settle back down with the man I thought I had fallen in love with, but every so often the truth would bubble up to the surface and eventually and I had to remind myself of the facts. Multiple online dating profiles from before he met me and after. Those after he met me spanning over several years, the last few AFTER I told him it was unacceptable to me.

All I can do is enjoy what ever decent time we have together, not forget the truth and keep preparing. So that's where it stands today.

Until next time,

Jane

Lost in MS City, Utah

And why are all the men on certain dating sites from there? I've mentioned the Benaughty Upforit, Shagaholic, Plentyofmature, Sugarbbw websites and there are many more sister sites. But one thing I haven't covered is this, for some reason if you sign up for one of their dating sites, the default location seems to be MS City, Utah. That's where you will be located if you aren't paying attention.

The problem is for every site my husband has one or two versions of his original profile, he also has a MS City, Utah version too. It's gets a bit complicated because if you do a search for your spouse using MS City, there are a disproportionate amount of profiles for that area. There are approx 120,000  of both men and women in Ms City. I get fewer hits in a search for my husband in a much larger metropolitan area than I do in Utah because so many profiles are lost here.

I see profiles in my regular search and I also see many of the same people or some permutation there of in the MS City searches I do.

Until next time,

Jane

Where is My Husband On Line?

I've mentioned before that if you have set up your own profiles on dating sites to be sure and check the emails they send to you in order not to miss one that may have your spouses profile featured in it.

Another reason to check these emails is this:  Each dating/personals site have their own graphics...the little picture of a heart, intertwined hearts, or other logo. They also have certain colors associated with their site and the set up of the profile pictures they send in the email are done a certain way. Some sites send a list style with fairly large profile pictures. Other send a grid. Some have thick blue lines between each profile...etc. You get the idea. Lastely, on each site, the "grayman" for those who don't upload a profile picture is distinctive. Some look like the generic hotmail man...or myspace man (of course the myspace has multiple men). Some are a gray shadow and so on.

One reason it is important to become familiar or pay attention to these differences is sometimes you can catch a glimpse of your spouses computer screen and if they are like my husband who is so smug that he thinks he's getting away with something they will look at their emails...or even possibly the site itself, while you are in the same room. So you catch a glimpse of an email he's looking at with rows of pictures....hmmmm, that's not facebook. Could me match or several others.

Right now my husband doesn't appear to be visiting the sites he had been for the past year, so I'm not stupid enough to think he has changed his ways, instead I need a clue as to what he is doing.

Yesterday he was looking at an email that sent rows of pictures, so as I was checking email this morning I was paying attention.

I also saw him signing up for a site and all I could see was a cartoon palm tree and it said "it's easy" and the grayman   looked like the msn man but two of them in bright yellow. Still haven't figured that one out.

Until next time....pay attention.

Jane

Time Travel on the Internet

I admit I spend a certain amount of time retro searching for my husband's online profiles. As I stated at the start of this blog, finding a list of email address was the start of discovering his tendency towards cheating online. Then using those old email addresses to collect info on old dating profiles. As a result, I find myself searching or retro searching for old profiles in order to glean information or tendencies from them.

Considering that in the four years alone, before my husband met me he probably worked in 40 to 50 different places. Some places he was only there for a few weeks, others for months.

One way I do this is to use a profile I have created, say on adult friend finder, and do a search in one of those cities that I know he stayed in for several weeks or more. So far this hasn't turned up anything I hadn't already known.

Until next time,

Jane

Cheating Husband Finder

If only there was a search engine or data base that made finding online profiles from dating sites possible.
Apparently, several years ago there was one but I don't know if it actually worked. I suspect dating sites guard their privacy.

Though if I haven't already mention it and if I have, it's worth mentioning again, sometimes you can google a persons profile name or screen name. I happen  to know one of my husbands dating profile names and it does come up in a google search. Even a srceen name, or the first part of an email address....minus the @ and everything after that is worth a try.

Spokeo.com has a limited free search but you can search a persons email and see if they have several profiles. The free version only shows you a row of profile icons or pictures but no information, though sometimes you can figure these things out.

I don't know that a private detective could find out anyone either, but I don't know.

Just a few thoughts.

Until next time,

Jane

One Hotmail, Two Hotmail Three Hotmail More??

The hotmail account my husband has been using for the last 2 years is the one where I have found all the account details for his Up For It (and all their related sites) account info, the friendfinder info (which is what started all of this) and account info for XXXmatch.

Now all of a sudden there are no emails coming in  for any of those accounts. So the last few days I logged into several of them and checked the account settings. He did not unsubscribe or cancel the accounts but he did uncheck all the email notification choices. There has been no activity (on his part) so what does this mean?

Has he changed his ways? Not likely.
Bored with those sites where he can't really make any contact? Possibly
Met someone outside of his computer life?  Maybe
Opened a new Hotmail account? Quite possibly.
Felt a little guilty with Mother's Day on the horizon?  Unlikely, but maybe.


So I'm left with wondering if he has a new alternate email address or is logging in from his regular email and has opened accounts on new sites.

So once again I am back to square one am opening accounts on new sites and continuing to monitor the old ones.

Too bad I can't feel that maybe he has had a change of heart. But I know from before that even if he has, he will eventually go back to his trolling ways.

Until next time,

Jane

Finding on Adult Friend Finder

In my original post about AFF or adultfriendfinder, I mentioned that in the search options you were limited to the zip code your chose. Now, in all fairness I must update that to say that the site (and all their sister sites) have updated their search options.

Now you can chose to search within in several choices of miles from, your registered location or any zip code you like.

This makes it much easier to search an area with out having to plug in multiple zip codes, each one being a separate search.

Until next time,

Jane

How to Find Your Husband on Craigslist

When I check the stats for this blog I can see the search words or phrases used and since so many of them are asking the question of how to find their spouse (mostly 'husband') on a particular site I want to reiterate the reason for this blog.

Though many of my posts are somewhat of a 'review' for the different sites I don't want anyone to get the idea I am advocating using them. If you  are single that is your business but note the warnings about scams, fake profiles and other pitfalls of these sites. Not that that is true of all of them.

But, back to what I am trying to say. My 'reviews' are to help other people figure out how to find spouses on these sites and also to realize how much their spouses may actually be able to do on some of them. There are some I have mentioned that all they can do is browse and not communicate unless they pay. Not that browsing is okay. It is not, to me that's as good as saying that they don't care about the relationship and it is only a matter of time before they stray.

The main idea is that the only way (if you don't have access to your spouses email) to find them on any one of these sites is to join yourself and conduct a search and continue to search in different ways and check the notifications the site sends to you.

So I'm sorry to say that you will need to immerse yourself in the world of unfaithful people in order to find anyone. You may decide that if you have to do that, it's not worth it and you may be right.

Until next time,

Jane

Plenty of Matures at Plentyofmature.com

Kick me while I'm down already. This morning, I check my husbands hotmail. account and messages from yet another Upforit affiliate, plentyofmature.com. So I checked the deleted messages and did an undelete and sure enough there was the confirmation email from where he signed up to the site.
This time, instead of him searching anywhere or within 100 miles of our home he is searching 100 miles from a large city on the other side of our state. Is he planning on moving some time soon? Is he hoping to hook up with someone so he has a place to go to? I don't know and feel so trapped, hurt and angry.

Anyway this is the same as upforit and all their other sites.
I feel like sometime soon he is going to yank everything out from under me. He's waiting on a large sum of money. That seems to me to be the opportunity he is looking for to bolt. He may also get a job transfer and I can see him "going ahead without me." Of course if that happens I'm not going to fight it.

Oh well,
Until next time,

Jane

UpForIt Plus 1

Back to the UpForIt sites. In the beginning I thought I was being smart by using my husbands login to gain access to the sites and his profile because I found that if I didn't log out, even if I restarted my computer and went to the website I was still logged in. But then I realized that if I remained logged in as him and he logged in from one of his email notifications the site would create a second profile, sometimes with the same screen name but most of the time it used the same screen name and added an asterisk and a number. For instance  MyProfile2012  became MyProfile2012*1  or in a few cases several more numbers were added to the end...MyProfile20124256. Add to that if he has two profiles on one site with the same screen name but different log in emails, I can log in using the screen name or the email and still get different activity results for each. Sometimes I had the feeling that which profile came up was purely a roll of the dice.
And it wasn't just me (or rather him) whenever I did a 20 mile radius search I saw a lot of the same profiles but every so often I would see one with the little addition of *1. Then I wondered if that man's wife or girlfriend had done the same as I had and hacked into the profile or possibly the screen name owner stayed logged in on their personal computer and then logged in again at work maybe?   Hmmm, naughty naughty.

Still angry and siappointed,

Jane

UpForIt knows How to Be Naughty at Benaughty.com

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Matchnet Online Free Dating Search Engine

If you were to go to matchnet.com and put in the right key search word and the right age group your search result would only be 8 men, one of them being my husband...with his picture even. Of course it is from 8 years ago before we even met.
Matchnet.com is a database of profiles from Spark network sites...or at least from Spark.com formerly known as Americansingles.com. You don't even need to be logged in to see the results. Of course if you want to see the entire profile of anyone you need to log in.
If you are searching for your husband online it's worth spending a little time checking it out. Depending on how good you are at online searches it may take a little bit to find results.

Hmmm...just saw a commercial for Ourtime.com...think I'll check it out.

Until next time,

Jane

Married and Still Looking

To continue with my Craigslist experiment of sorts....this afternoon I renewed or refreshed my posting, adding it back to the top of the list and received approx 30 responses already. A couple of things strike me about this. First of all I actually feel a bit bad for making some of these men  think there's a possibility of hooking up with someone, some of them seem so sincere.
Then there are the numerous men who contact me and openly admit that they are married but from the way their email is worded it sounds as if this is something they have done before. That  ring around their finger doesn't create any drag or friction at all. Amazing.
Then the last thing, and I may not be able to describe this very well, but as I read these emails it sorts of freaks me out that these are real people and if I were to contact them or go to Applebee's as one suggested...I would come face to face with person who is prepared to lube me up with a drink or something to eat and then rush me off to their hot tub or hotel room. Are hot tubs or tiki jacuzzis as one mentioned really a big deal or are they stuck in 1980's California.
Until next time,

Jane

I'm Not Your Typo

At least spell check or double check your profile description, nothing like bad grammer or a typo to turn someone off or make them think they can take advantage of you, because you're not too smart.
I know I have typos in my posts, but they are just that typos....I really think a lot of these are ignorance.

Here are a few examples.

"hi all im not sale at all" I'm not even sure where he was going with this one.

"I'm no angle, let's ride....."  This was in all caps too, so he was screaming his mistake.

"I'm looking for Intemacy 7 days aweek"

"i'm seeking a life partner .marriage is a real possibly..."

"I am curious to see if there are any real people on this sight."   And that's just a quick look, I could probably write a book and fill every page.

Until next time,

Jane

I'm Looking at You Looking at Me

Still thinking about craigslist ads. The incoming messages subsided considerably, going from an impressive 80 the first 24 hours to a mere handful a day. One ad stuck in my head...he said that he had waited a few days to contact me in order to let all the spam emails come through so his wouldn't be lost in the crowd. Interesting.
Another plus to craigslist, in some ways, is that people can't see when you have read their ads or how many times you have read it. On all the sites I've been on, if you look a someone's profile they receive a message or are notified in some way that you did just that.
On the other hand, other than the emails I have no idea of how many times or who has looked at my ad.

Until later,

Jane

Juggling Email Addresses

A few days ago I talked about leaving email addresses unattended and probably forgotten....but not gone.
At the beginning of this blog I mentioned how I found a piece of paper with multiple email addresses my husband had used with login information. With the exception of the earthlink account, all the others were still accessible.
As things have gone along those email accounts have come in handy. At present I am using 1 juno, 1 yahoo, 1 msn, 1 live and 2 aol email accounts as my own. This serves two purposes. Occasionally old dating site info comes in and I use them to sign up for different dating sites.

Until later,

Jane