You Have to Know When to Hold Them

Keep your cards close to your chest...isn't that what the gamblers say?

I know that there are people who scour the internet to see what is being said about their employers website, business etc.

In fact when I wrote about the poor search options on Adult Friend Finder I later found out they seriously improved them. Could one of the web scourers have found my blog post?

And in that  same vein, I have also bragged how I have been getting into my husbands other email by  signing in to a linked account. Well, guess which email service is doing away with linked accounts? Yep, me and my big blog mouth.

So, no more of that. Next thing  I know my husband will find one of my tips and maybe put 2 and 2 together.

Until next time,

Jane

30 Days of Fun for One Low Price

Until recently to pay for access of Adult Friend Finder, or any of their other sites, which was the only way to be able to view someone's complete profile or interact with them,  was a decent chunk of change per month. But worth it if that's what you want.

But suppose you don't want that sort of recurring financial commitment?

Now you can pay $2.95 in order to see one members profile and have access to seeing it for 30 days.

It's called a "single profile view"

I was trying to see how the charge would be labeled, but can't find that information at this time.

I do have that information for some of the other sites, good to know. After all, who would be suspicious of a $3 charge on their husbands credit card or bank account?

Until next time,

Jane

Adult Friend Finder Update

In my previous posts about AFF and their similar alias sites such as Adult XXX Date I had mentioned that the search was annoying because it only brought up profiles from the actual zip code you searched for, but for awhile now.....maybe they read my blog!!!....they  have updated their search options.

Now you can search within a zip code, your registered location or any location  and have the option for as little as 5 miles from that location up to  within several 10,000 miles.

Until next time,

Jane

Time Travel on the Internet

I admit I spend a certain amount of time retro searching for my husband's online profiles. As I stated at the start of this blog, finding a list of email address was the start of discovering his tendency towards cheating online. Then using those old email addresses to collect info on old dating profiles. As a result, I find myself searching or retro searching for old profiles in order to glean information or tendencies from them.

Considering that in the four years alone, before my husband met me he probably worked in 40 to 50 different places. Some places he was only there for a few weeks, others for months.

One way I do this is to use a profile I have created, say on adult friend finder, and do a search in one of those cities that I know he stayed in for several weeks or more. So far this hasn't turned up anything I hadn't already known.

Until next time,

Jane

Finding on Adult Friend Finder

In my original post about AFF or adultfriendfinder, I mentioned that in the search options you were limited to the zip code your chose. Now, in all fairness I must update that to say that the site (and all their sister sites) have updated their search options.

Now you can chose to search within in several choices of miles from, your registered location or any zip code you like.

This makes it much easier to search an area with out having to plug in multiple zip codes, each one being a separate search.

Until next time,

Jane

I Found My Husbands Profile Online Is It Cheating

The questions is this:
I found my husbands profile on craigslist, friendfinder, hornymatches, etc....  is it cheating?

Some may consider it actual cheating and I can see why they would....it is mentally cheating.
For myself I see it as the intent to cheat. Even if they are saying they are only curious, they are fooling themselves.....window shop enough and you will eventually want to buy.
As I said at the beginning of this blog, I don't know if my husband cheated on me already but the online profiles tell me that if he hasn't already and he keeps doing the same, yes he will eventually cheat.
And even if he doesn't, he isn't mentally committed to me...he finds me lacking, or boring or distasteful in some respect and I find that insulting. Basically, it tells me everything I need to know.
I write this blog in order to vent, maintain my sanity and maybe help someone else.

I can check the stats on this blog which tells me how many views, which posts were viewed and the referring sites. What makes me sad is all the queries I see that basically ask the above question. "I found my husbands profile on  (fill in the blank) is it cheating?
My last thought on this is that it probably isn't the first time he's done this whether it was with you or someone else.

Until next time,

Jane

Sinful Dates

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Adultfriendfinder Better for Men or Women

The past few days I've been doing a little experiment. I've logged in to adultfriendfinder as both my husbands profile and one I created as a woman.
As a man I've hotlisted and/or winked at over 60 women. Only two have browsed my profile, none have contacted or flirted with me and whenever I tried to contact one through the chat feature they were never available. But the oddest thing was that shortly after I hotlisted a woman it seemed that she logged in. Could be coincidence. I resorted to trying to interact to the women without profile pictures...it's always been my suspicion that the ones without a picture are more likely to be real.
Anyway, logged in as a woman I've been getting several views and messages a day......and as a woman I don't look at any male profiles and I certainly don't hotlist or flirt. If I log into the chat feature I'm bombarded with chat requests.....and no I don't have a picture.  Hmmmm, I suppose that negates my theory about non picture profiles and possibly that is what is happening to the women I try to contact as a man...they are being bombarded, specially the ones with sexy pictures.
Thought I would share with you my experiment. I've always suspected that men were more likely to throw money at a shot at 'dating' a woman for sex than a woman would, so the dating sites use women's profiles to lure men in......give them enough to keep them interested but not enough to satisfy them so they are likely to shell out the money.
Oh well, until next time.

Jane

Adios Amigo or "That's Spanish for Adult FriendFinder"

This review/observation on the adult friendfinder sites will be about the rest of the alternate sites. That includes Amigos, French friendfinder, German, Asia, Italian,Portuguese etc....you get the idea. There are also Senior, BigChurch, Gay, Grad and MillionaireMate....how honest do you think those men are because in my experience women lie or hedge about who they are, their weight, age, whereas men lie/hedge about their accomplishments, income and job/military experience.
I have never checked out the Millionairemate site and there is this: I can see my husband putting his profile on their and stretching the truth about his income. Hmmm.

I've been on Amigos.com Senior and BigChurch...all of them similar to AFF. In my experience if you want to be able to make a genuine hook up without too many constraints, I would opt for friendfinder.

Maybe I'll check out Millionaire. I'll let you know.

Have a good weekend,

Jane

Adult Friend Finder Online.......or Not

One last thought about Adult Friend Finder. When someone is online, logged in, it says "Online Now!" in vivid green letters just under their main stats.
But here is the kicker, if you are logged in and then log off, it continues to say that you are "Online Now".
Last I tested it I had to leave the house at 46 minutes and a profile that I had logged in as and logged back off from still stated that it was online. Soon I will have to test it again to see just how long it stays on.
This could be a way for the site to give the impression of more activity then there actually is or just a computer quirk. Either way this feature can work for or against you.

Until tomorrow,

Jane

Life on Adult Friend Finder

There is a lot I have learned from this experience and some of that is information about the different online dating sites......so in some respects this can be considered a review of Adult Friend Finder.
Adult Friend Finder has quite a few sister sites, several of which I will also 'review' as I go along, but I will tell you this now, they are not all the same so don't assume that what I tell you about AFF stands for the others. Some of the affiliate sites are easier to post and contact on.
Okay, first of all, sign up is easy, you need a valid email address....one that hasn't been used for this site before and a few minutes to use the pull down options to add your physical stats, height, weight, hair color etc. You will be asked for a screen name....it may take a few tries in case YoungNSexy1965 has already been taken.
Then you need to fill out a short paragraph about yourself and another about the type of mate you are searching for. The site sends a confirmation email you need to activate, pretty much like signing up for a new email account, nothing tricky except making sure your write up will catch someones eye.
There is also a point where you can upload a photo or several. On AFF you can have a photo with nudity (I will get into some of what I have seen, what I personally think works and doesn't work for men and women, on another post).
Many sites encourage you to post a picture of yourself holding a sign with your screen name written on it, this ensures that you are real. Which if you are suing these sites for a hook up, you may want to look for and avoid those photos that look amazing like someone famous. Though, some sites will scan the photos and reject them if they are public domain or on the internet, AFF is one of those sites. Not to say you can't slip something by them.....
Once you have confirmed your profile you can search, the search options allow you to make an age span choice, gender choice (yes, on AFF you can even be a couple searching for  a man or a woman or search for a couple yourself). This isn't allowed on all of their sister sites. What you are looking for, including threesomes, bondage etc. You chose a state and zip, then finally, if you are only a standard member, you can chose to search through only standard contacts or Gold and Silver, which if you are serious is probably a better way to make a contact for reasons I'll mention soon. If you are a paying member you have many more search options.
The search will bring up members in that zip code and if it's a small selection will also show profiles for surrounding areas, but it seems to me that expanded search never goes north of my location, only south, east and west.  That seems to be true on a lot of sites.
It used to be the search would only give you those in that zip and that was all but it has expanded which is better.
A gallery list of profiles will fill the page, which by the way, show one photo or a shadow profile if no pic was uploaded, the screen name, age, last visit, and  a star rating, 1 to 5, for compatibility. This is determined by what you fill out in your search parameters, or cupid (oops, sorry, now it's 'dove') preferences.
If  you click on one it takes you to an upgrade and pay page, but if you just scroll your curser over the picture you can get more information, but not of it.
Under each profile are options to send a flirt, call, add to your hotlist, email, or invite as a friend. Unless you are a paying member you can forget about contacting my email r calling. But when they login they will see that you browsed their profile and if you do so multiple times it shows that too, so don't look desperate, it's a turn off. Then if they are a paying member they can send you a message.
You will receive an email saying someone has sent you a message and a list or partial list of those who have browsed your profile.

There is a lot more to this site, chatting, movies etc....and I don't know if you actually pay how well it pans out....will welcome and post comments from anyone who has paid.

But the bottom line is for myself it gave me a pretty good option for searching for my husbands profile.

Oh, one last thing, because I have logged in through my husbands old profile, as a woman  you have a little more leeway in how much you can do for free.

Until next time,

Jane

Password from Adult Friend Finder

So once I had access to his old email accounts, I would periodically check them and nothing new ever came into them except for the occasional offer by the provider. I wasn’t sure why I kept up the checks but I remembered something he had told me (see a lot of what I learned

 I learned from him) he told me that a man that communicates with a woman periodically is basically checking his traps….like a lobster fisherman….you set the traps and check every so often and sooner or later you will snag something.

That’s exactly what happened. We were working out of town and we had a few extra computers. One of the men working for us needed a computer and my husband sold him one of our extra ones for a good price. A day or two later “John” asked me if I could help him with the internet. Sure I said…..the upshot was that when I looked at his Internet Explorer toolbar…he had extra toolbars enabled, one was the aol and it said new mail for jsmith101.  Hmmm I thought. Anyway  I helped John in just a few minutes and as soon as I was alone back in our hotel room I went to Aol because I recognized that address as one of the ones on the list and I figured my husband must have been into it on that computer.

There wasn’t anything in the email but when I went to AFF to ask for a lost password, where previously it said no account in that email suddenly it was sending the password to the email address.

BTW, I learned to first ask to have a password sent to my own address to see if they say no such account or will send email with or without password, that way I know if it’s safe to query my husbands present address.

Back to AFF. Sure enough  login information was sent and within minutes I was looking

at a profile from August of 2004, location a suburb in Atlanta, Ga.

I've also learned not to react to that rush of adrenaline and reveal my hand. Wait for it to pass and think about the best thing to do.

The profile was from before we had even met, so I didn't mention it to him, instead  I used it for information. What was his title, did he give he actual physical stats (he did), no photo, and just what was he trolling for on Adult Friend Finder. 

I'll get into that tomorrow.

Jane