30 Days of Fun for One Low Price

Until recently to pay for access of Adult Friend Finder, or any of their other sites, which was the only way to be able to view someone's complete profile or interact with them,  was a decent chunk of change per month. But worth it if that's what you want.

But suppose you don't want that sort of recurring financial commitment?

Now you can pay $2.95 in order to see one members profile and have access to seeing it for 30 days.

It's called a "single profile view"

I was trying to see how the charge would be labeled, but can't find that information at this time.

I do have that information for some of the other sites, good to know. After all, who would be suspicious of a $3 charge on their husbands credit card or bank account?

Until next time,

Jane

Adult Friend Finder Update

In my previous posts about AFF and their similar alias sites such as Adult XXX Date I had mentioned that the search was annoying because it only brought up profiles from the actual zip code you searched for, but for awhile now.....maybe they read my blog!!!....they  have updated their search options.

Now you can search within a zip code, your registered location or any location  and have the option for as little as 5 miles from that location up to  within several 10,000 miles.

Until next time,

Jane

Time to Come Clean

I had a moment today when I asked myself..."Did my husband really over explain why he was going to take a shower before going to work today?"  Really. I have never heard him give me reasons for showering. Red flag anyone?

Funny too, because the past few weeks he has been very nostalgic about when we first got together and how pretty I look in pictures and so on. And I have to admit that I did sit back and become a bit complacent......wouldn't it be so easy if he gave up his old ways and I could settle back down with the man I thought I had fallen in love with, but every so often the truth would bubble up to the surface and eventually and I had to remind myself of the facts. Multiple online dating profiles from before he met me and after. Those after he met me spanning over several years, the last few AFTER I told him it was unacceptable to me.

All I can do is enjoy what ever decent time we have together, not forget the truth and keep preparing. So that's where it stands today.

Until next time,

Jane

Lost in MS City, Utah

And why are all the men on certain dating sites from there? I've mentioned the Benaughty Upforit, Shagaholic, Plentyofmature, Sugarbbw websites and there are many more sister sites. But one thing I haven't covered is this, for some reason if you sign up for one of their dating sites, the default location seems to be MS City, Utah. That's where you will be located if you aren't paying attention.

The problem is for every site my husband has one or two versions of his original profile, he also has a MS City, Utah version too. It's gets a bit complicated because if you do a search for your spouse using MS City, there are a disproportionate amount of profiles for that area. There are approx 120,000  of both men and women in Ms City. I get fewer hits in a search for my husband in a much larger metropolitan area than I do in Utah because so many profiles are lost here.

I see profiles in my regular search and I also see many of the same people or some permutation there of in the MS City searches I do.

Until next time,

Jane

Really, it's Not You, it's Me

How often have we heard (or used) that lame excuse to get out of a relationship. We all know it's a lie...okay, there may be a few instances where it is true.

Just the other week my husband was explaining to me a particular ploy that men use...it came up in regards to a woman in a relationship with a jerk. My husband told me that he's the type that stays with her to have a place to hang out and as long as it goes smoothly. Meanwhile he is looking for the next woman to get  with, maybe a better situation. I asked, why doesn't he just leave? He told me that "guys like that" will wait until the woman does something to make him mad so he can leave and say it was her fault.

Yesterday, we had an incident....a situation, a family situation. Nothing so awful really...no one else there thought it was worth calling it quits over or even really getting mad about. But I got mad (I didn't yell or scream) but I spoke up saying that he didn't need to act like an ass, he could have dealt with the situation better. So since yesterday afternoon  he has barely spoken to me and left for work today angry saying that what I had done was a deal breaker.

Of course, I got mad again and said if that was worth leaving over he was crazy, that if he thought that was bad how about multiple online dating profiles like he had?

So, I fully expect him to come home today and say that's it, we're over.  Just like the guy in his example, he has waited for me to do something so he can leave and say it was me.

Until next time,

Jane

Time Travel on the Internet

I admit I spend a certain amount of time retro searching for my husband's online profiles. As I stated at the start of this blog, finding a list of email address was the start of discovering his tendency towards cheating online. Then using those old email addresses to collect info on old dating profiles. As a result, I find myself searching or retro searching for old profiles in order to glean information or tendencies from them.

Considering that in the four years alone, before my husband met me he probably worked in 40 to 50 different places. Some places he was only there for a few weeks, others for months.

One way I do this is to use a profile I have created, say on adult friend finder, and do a search in one of those cities that I know he stayed in for several weeks or more. So far this hasn't turned up anything I hadn't already known.

Until next time,

Jane

One Hotmail, Two Hotmail Three Hotmail More??

The hotmail account my husband has been using for the last 2 years is the one where I have found all the account details for his Up For It (and all their related sites) account info, the friendfinder info (which is what started all of this) and account info for XXXmatch.

Now all of a sudden there are no emails coming in  for any of those accounts. So the last few days I logged into several of them and checked the account settings. He did not unsubscribe or cancel the accounts but he did uncheck all the email notification choices. There has been no activity (on his part) so what does this mean?

Has he changed his ways? Not likely.
Bored with those sites where he can't really make any contact? Possibly
Met someone outside of his computer life?  Maybe
Opened a new Hotmail account? Quite possibly.
Felt a little guilty with Mother's Day on the horizon?  Unlikely, but maybe.


So I'm left with wondering if he has a new alternate email address or is logging in from his regular email and has opened accounts on new sites.

So once again I am back to square one am opening accounts on new sites and continuing to monitor the old ones.

Too bad I can't feel that maybe he has had a change of heart. But I know from before that even if he has, he will eventually go back to his trolling ways.

Until next time,

Jane

Finding on Adult Friend Finder

In my original post about AFF or adultfriendfinder, I mentioned that in the search options you were limited to the zip code your chose. Now, in all fairness I must update that to say that the site (and all their sister sites) have updated their search options.

Now you can chose to search within in several choices of miles from, your registered location or any zip code you like.

This makes it much easier to search an area with out having to plug in multiple zip codes, each one being a separate search.

Until next time,

Jane

How to Find Your Husband on Craigslist

When I check the stats for this blog I can see the search words or phrases used and since so many of them are asking the question of how to find their spouse (mostly 'husband') on a particular site I want to reiterate the reason for this blog.

Though many of my posts are somewhat of a 'review' for the different sites I don't want anyone to get the idea I am advocating using them. If you  are single that is your business but note the warnings about scams, fake profiles and other pitfalls of these sites. Not that that is true of all of them.

But, back to what I am trying to say. My 'reviews' are to help other people figure out how to find spouses on these sites and also to realize how much their spouses may actually be able to do on some of them. There are some I have mentioned that all they can do is browse and not communicate unless they pay. Not that browsing is okay. It is not, to me that's as good as saying that they don't care about the relationship and it is only a matter of time before they stray.

The main idea is that the only way (if you don't have access to your spouses email) to find them on any one of these sites is to join yourself and conduct a search and continue to search in different ways and check the notifications the site sends to you.

So I'm sorry to say that you will need to immerse yourself in the world of unfaithful people in order to find anyone. You may decide that if you have to do that, it's not worth it and you may be right.

Until next time,

Jane

Let's Shag at Shagaholic

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Caught Red Handed

The other morning I found an email that apparently my husband thought he had deleted, a welcome message for yet another online dating site. I was bitterly disappointed. It's a terrible feeling to see that he has the profile and then to read it and he says he is divorced looking for long term relationship. Is he just waiting until he finds something better and then he will leave?
My first impulse was to upload a picture of a donkey's ass as his profile picture, but I didn't, but I'm not through yet.
I'm trying to remain calm, I'm still not quite positioned for a confrontation. Soon, I'm hoping by August but if something comes up before I need to be prepared as much as possible.

This time I am as depressed as I was when I found the first evidence back in September of 2010...what does that tell me.  I guess the whole relationship has been a lie and if you could see how he acts with me, you would never imagine he was window shopping other women.

Oh well, until next time,

Jane

UpForIt knows How to Be Naughty at Benaughty.com

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A Few More Words About UpForIt.com

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Matchnet Online Free Dating Search Engine

If you were to go to matchnet.com and put in the right key search word and the right age group your search result would only be 8 men, one of them being my husband...with his picture even. Of course it is from 8 years ago before we even met.
Matchnet.com is a database of profiles from Spark network sites...or at least from Spark.com formerly known as Americansingles.com. You don't even need to be logged in to see the results. Of course if you want to see the entire profile of anyone you need to log in.
If you are searching for your husband online it's worth spending a little time checking it out. Depending on how good you are at online searches it may take a little bit to find results.

Hmmm...just saw a commercial for Ourtime.com...think I'll check it out.

Until next time,

Jane

I'm Not Your Typo

At least spell check or double check your profile description, nothing like bad grammer or a typo to turn someone off or make them think they can take advantage of you, because you're not too smart.
I know I have typos in my posts, but they are just that typos....I really think a lot of these are ignorance.

Here are a few examples.

"hi all im not sale at all" I'm not even sure where he was going with this one.

"I'm no angle, let's ride....."  This was in all caps too, so he was screaming his mistake.

"I'm looking for Intemacy 7 days aweek"

"i'm seeking a life partner .marriage is a real possibly..."

"I am curious to see if there are any real people on this sight."   And that's just a quick look, I could probably write a book and fill every page.

Until next time,

Jane

I'm Looking at You Looking at Me

Still thinking about craigslist ads. The incoming messages subsided considerably, going from an impressive 80 the first 24 hours to a mere handful a day. One ad stuck in my head...he said that he had waited a few days to contact me in order to let all the spam emails come through so his wouldn't be lost in the crowd. Interesting.
Another plus to craigslist, in some ways, is that people can't see when you have read their ads or how many times you have read it. On all the sites I've been on, if you look a someone's profile they receive a message or are notified in some way that you did just that.
On the other hand, other than the emails I have no idea of how many times or who has looked at my ad.

Until later,

Jane

What Part Didn't You Understand?

I found an article on line last night, it may be a blog, I'm not certain, but what was interesting in that it was a woman talking about finding out that her boyfriend has an online dating profile. What I found interesting and sad, was that she states the obvious (and it seems it was difficult for her to act on too) that the very existence of the profile is all you really need to know. It is an absolute statement about the relationship....as in what part didn't you understand. And as I have said, it's not the understanding part that seems to be so difficult, it is the comprehending that sucks. Something like the shock you may have upon finding a stranger in your home. Most people are stunned for a moment their brains trying to make sense out of a senseless situation.
I suppose if I approached this situation with the same "I better make a move or my life may depend on it" attitude I would take on finding an intruder I would be better off.
Yes, (I was counting last night) it's been a year and a half since I found out about my husbands friendfinder profile. That's all there is to know. By sticking around all I've done is become sadder and angrier. Of course I'm not in a financial position to leave and that's what I've been working on since it is the only thing I can do anything about.
So, here is the article that inspired this rant, it's worth reading.
Here is a quote from it that descriptions that moment (with the intruder) when our brains are trying to sort it all out.
"What did I really do, when I discovered my boyfriend had an active online dating account (VIP membership, checked within the past 24 hours). I listened to his ridiculous story about how he’d prepaid for a year. And had just coincidentally looked at it the day before because they kept sending him email. Out of curiosity."

Juggling Email Addresses

A few days ago I talked about leaving email addresses unattended and probably forgotten....but not gone.
At the beginning of this blog I mentioned how I found a piece of paper with multiple email addresses my husband had used with login information. With the exception of the earthlink account, all the others were still accessible.
As things have gone along those email accounts have come in handy. At present I am using 1 juno, 1 yahoo, 1 msn, 1 live and 2 aol email accounts as my own. This serves two purposes. Occasionally old dating site info comes in and I use them to sign up for different dating sites.

Until later,

Jane

Are You A Fun Guy or Girl?

Another short mention about some of the dating profiles I have seen, I need to mention one I have seen recently and what I am going to tell you.
For an online screen name you can be a fun guy or a fun girl but never a fun gal because it translates to this
"Fungal65".

LOL


Jane

Too Good to Be True

I just read an online article about the possible signs of a cheating spouse and one of them was that the cheater was more attentive and nice to you. I've already mentioned how the summer of friendfinder (when my husband took out his profile on that site), he was extra ornery with me, very critical.
Now I find myself on the polar opposite and it makes me just as suspicious. He's attentive, affectionate in public, stealing kisses and the kicker is that he starts to get angry with me and stops mid sentence. I am talking about a very high strung angry person.
This is such an uncomfortable way to live, I keep looking at the line I've drawn in the sand, by this time next year I'll have made a decision and started to implement it. Until, then, it's like a chess game, I keep adjusting my pieces for action.

Until next time,

Jane