Cheating Husband Finder

If only there was a search engine or data base that made finding online profiles from dating sites possible.
Apparently, several years ago there was one but I don't know if it actually worked. I suspect dating sites guard their privacy.

Though if I haven't already mention it and if I have, it's worth mentioning again, sometimes you can google a persons profile name or screen name. I happen  to know one of my husbands dating profile names and it does come up in a google search. Even a srceen name, or the first part of an email address....minus the @ and everything after that is worth a try.

Spokeo.com has a limited free search but you can search a persons email and see if they have several profiles. The free version only shows you a row of profile icons or pictures but no information, though sometimes you can figure these things out.

I don't know that a private detective could find out anyone either, but I don't know.

Just a few thoughts.

Until next time,

Jane

How to Find Your Husband on Craigslist

When I check the stats for this blog I can see the search words or phrases used and since so many of them are asking the question of how to find their spouse (mostly 'husband') on a particular site I want to reiterate the reason for this blog.

Though many of my posts are somewhat of a 'review' for the different sites I don't want anyone to get the idea I am advocating using them. If you  are single that is your business but note the warnings about scams, fake profiles and other pitfalls of these sites. Not that that is true of all of them.

But, back to what I am trying to say. My 'reviews' are to help other people figure out how to find spouses on these sites and also to realize how much their spouses may actually be able to do on some of them. There are some I have mentioned that all they can do is browse and not communicate unless they pay. Not that browsing is okay. It is not, to me that's as good as saying that they don't care about the relationship and it is only a matter of time before they stray.

The main idea is that the only way (if you don't have access to your spouses email) to find them on any one of these sites is to join yourself and conduct a search and continue to search in different ways and check the notifications the site sends to you.

So I'm sorry to say that you will need to immerse yourself in the world of unfaithful people in order to find anyone. You may decide that if you have to do that, it's not worth it and you may be right.

Until next time,

Jane

Are You Up For It?

I've been putting off revewing my experiences with these next sites...all part of one network...because there is so much to tell. I'm not even going to try and cover it in one post.

It started with my husband offhandedly telling me he had started a profile on a site just for fun to see what would happen. I know.....I'm really stupid. But here's the info.
The site was and still is UpForIt.com
It's a company out of the UK. My husband has a profile, no picture....his location, physical stats and is rated as having a profile that is 20% complete. He is a standard non paying member. In other words he can't do much without upgrading.

Anyway, between his profile which I managed to get the password to and the fake female profiles I have made I have found out a lot. All non paying profiles, though I have seen a lot of online posts/complaints about this site where both men and women have  given in  and paid for a membership and didn't have much luck and when they tried to cancel the company continued to take payments from their banks. Not very nice. A common complaint that I saw was that just before their memberships were set to expire, they would get a lot of promising emails and then once they paid those possible hook ups vanished like a lot of smoke.

Anyway. as a non paying member you can do zip code searches and look at the profile including the main picture, their stats and anything else they have written about themselves. Then there are ice breakers you can send....5 a day. Basically you have a choice of prewritten chat up lines. You can also wink, add to favorites or as a friend. All these things do is let the other person know you are interested.

After that, unless you pay it is impossible to make contact. As a woman I am able to send instant text chats....they pop up on the lower right corner of your screen. I am also able to respond to any man that sends me one. But as a man if you try to respond it sends you to the payment page.
If you try to send a message as a man you are sent to the payment page.

Interestingly enough, as a woman....I've tried this from two different female profiles...if you send a message (which you can) you can write whatever you want because when the man gets the message it says something completely different. It's quite bizarre...so  here you send a nice message asking for more details from the man and they get a message who's information line says "boobs" and they can't read the body of the message without upgrading and paying. Rip off!

The site is easy to find your way around.

There are also chat rooms free to all non paying profiles but I haven't spent much time in there. I have read some posts where people try to put their contact info. I'll have to pay more attention and see if it gets bleeped out or if the next day the profile is gone from the database.

Until next time.....when I will also tell you about the numerous other sites same format as UpForIt.

Jane

I'm Not Your Typo

At least spell check or double check your profile description, nothing like bad grammer or a typo to turn someone off or make them think they can take advantage of you, because you're not too smart.
I know I have typos in my posts, but they are just that typos....I really think a lot of these are ignorance.

Here are a few examples.

"hi all im not sale at all" I'm not even sure where he was going with this one.

"I'm no angle, let's ride....."  This was in all caps too, so he was screaming his mistake.

"I'm looking for Intemacy 7 days aweek"

"i'm seeking a life partner .marriage is a real possibly..."

"I am curious to see if there are any real people on this sight."   And that's just a quick look, I could probably write a book and fill every page.

Until next time,

Jane

Sinful Dates

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Keep a Low Profile

Okay, I have some "splannin" to do Lucy, for my absense....but for now let me give you men some advice.

When writing your dating profile do not use words like "hopelessly, lonely,  oh yea and the overused and never believed "I'm new to this or I've never done this before".... even if by chance it is true, don't say so!!
Don't want to see you in your karate uniform (means your not as good as you think you are), nice car, but it doesn't mean I'll go out with you, skip your dog and when guys hold cats for profile pictures, the poor cats always look like hostages!
Why would anyone put a picture of themselves with another woman?!

One time I received a message from a man on friend finder and it was like a small novel...he went on and on about my profile and made it sund very personal to me, but then when I logged in as my 5 other profiles, there was that exact same message in those inboxes too. Very funny actually.

So there's a bit of advice because I'm sure I could think of more if I had time.

For now,

Jane

Adultery

I don't think enough can be said about the emotional impact on the cheated on spouse. My feelings are on a roller coaster. If you read previous posts you can see that at times I just tried to see the humor or stupidity in the online dating profiles I saw, other times I am confused, but lately I have been furious. To the point where I didn't think I could keep my mouth shut. It would take hours to calm down.
The last two days I think I have sunk into a depression and worst of all it seems as if my feelings toward him are changing.

I heard someone say once, you'll love them madly, hate them madly, but when there are no feelings is when you know it's over.
Don't know if that is where I am, but there is an emotional chasm opening up.

Jane

Prologue to A Blog

Basically this blog is the dark side of my marriage where I suspect my husband has periodically been “up to something” but haven’t been able to pin it down,  Has he cheated, has he just toyed with the idea? I’ll talk about what has happened and what I have done with my suspcsions. Maybe some of you out there will relate. Maybe in all this I will give some of you information from my experience that will help you in yours. I have learned how to get on and search the online dating sites,  the ones with the easiest to navigate search options and the best way I have found to search.  I will tell you about the types of men I have come across on these sites and how the profiles seem to run. No, I haven’t connected with any of them because I’m only looking for one man on them, my  husband.

Some of you are gong to want to smack me on top of my head and say “Wake up!” because some of this will seem so obvious to you. And I say, it’s always easier being on the outside looking in, when you’re in the situation it’s entirely different.

I’ve gone back and forth about doing this blog but in the end thought it might help me organize my thoughts. When things seem okay or even good I wonder if I was imagining things or maybe there was some explanation, but of coarse there isn’t. I’m bound up by circumstances and a lack of “in your face” proof. It reminds me of a story.

About twenty years ago or more, I lived in an older home in a mid western state…it was getting cold outside. I had a large orange cat. I walked into the old style farmhouse kitchen, he was lying on the kitchen floor and as I watched, a small mouse ran from behind the back door to the back of the refrigerator. I stood their with my mouth open as my cat glanced over his shoulder with a stupefied expression like “Huh, did I miss something?”  I think of that cat often because that’s how I have felt about this, like I just missed it, more of a feeling than a fact, until recently.

           
But I have found some proof, not on infidelity but of online profiles. I will share more on Monday.


Jane