I Found My Husbands Profile Online Is It Cheating

The questions is this:
I found my husbands profile on craigslist, friendfinder, hornymatches, etc....  is it cheating?

Some may consider it actual cheating and I can see why they would....it is mentally cheating.
For myself I see it as the intent to cheat. Even if they are saying they are only curious, they are fooling themselves.....window shop enough and you will eventually want to buy.
As I said at the beginning of this blog, I don't know if my husband cheated on me already but the online profiles tell me that if he hasn't already and he keeps doing the same, yes he will eventually cheat.
And even if he doesn't, he isn't mentally committed to me...he finds me lacking, or boring or distasteful in some respect and I find that insulting. Basically, it tells me everything I need to know.
I write this blog in order to vent, maintain my sanity and maybe help someone else.

I can check the stats on this blog which tells me how many views, which posts were viewed and the referring sites. What makes me sad is all the queries I see that basically ask the above question. "I found my husbands profile on  (fill in the blank) is it cheating?
My last thought on this is that it probably isn't the first time he's done this whether it was with you or someone else.

Until next time,

Jane

I'm Not Your Typo

At least spell check or double check your profile description, nothing like bad grammer or a typo to turn someone off or make them think they can take advantage of you, because you're not too smart.
I know I have typos in my posts, but they are just that typos....I really think a lot of these are ignorance.

Here are a few examples.

"hi all im not sale at all" I'm not even sure where he was going with this one.

"I'm no angle, let's ride....."  This was in all caps too, so he was screaming his mistake.

"I'm looking for Intemacy 7 days aweek"

"i'm seeking a life partner .marriage is a real possibly..."

"I am curious to see if there are any real people on this sight."   And that's just a quick look, I could probably write a book and fill every page.

Until next time,

Jane

I'm Looking at You Looking at Me

Still thinking about craigslist ads. The incoming messages subsided considerably, going from an impressive 80 the first 24 hours to a mere handful a day. One ad stuck in my head...he said that he had waited a few days to contact me in order to let all the spam emails come through so his wouldn't be lost in the crowd. Interesting.
Another plus to craigslist, in some ways, is that people can't see when you have read their ads or how many times you have read it. On all the sites I've been on, if you look a someone's profile they receive a message or are notified in some way that you did just that.
On the other hand, other than the emails I have no idea of how many times or who has looked at my ad.

Until later,

Jane

Craigslist Personals Have an Ad Vantage

I know I've mentioned craigslist personals briefly but for various reasons I decided to give them a try.
Here's what I have found out:

I didn't need to set up a craigslist account to post a personal ad....I just hit post, filled it out and followed directions.

I thought I may get a few responses....ha!! in less than 24 hours I had close to 80 responses. They come straight from the persons email  or iphone or android...it tells you in the message how the message was sent.

Men have sent pictures, both nude and not. A lot of the replies are actually nicer than the messages received on dating/sex sites and some people have even sent their phone numbers. One man invited me to meet him for dinner tonight.

This is both good and bad if you are looking for a real hook up.....you could be meeting a creep but the ease of communicating is amazing.

I went to my own ad (since I don't really want to communicate with anyone) and hit the reply button....you are asked to identify the squiggly words and then are given an email (a craigslist  anonymous email) address to reply to. Easy.

For myself I have deleted the ones that are obviously not my husband...thanks for the pictures, and flagging a few possibilities. My husband has been spending a lot of time on craigslist lately.....hmm.

Until later,

Jane

What Part Didn't You Understand?

I found an article on line last night, it may be a blog, I'm not certain, but what was interesting in that it was a woman talking about finding out that her boyfriend has an online dating profile. What I found interesting and sad, was that she states the obvious (and it seems it was difficult for her to act on too) that the very existence of the profile is all you really need to know. It is an absolute statement about the relationship....as in what part didn't you understand. And as I have said, it's not the understanding part that seems to be so difficult, it is the comprehending that sucks. Something like the shock you may have upon finding a stranger in your home. Most people are stunned for a moment their brains trying to make sense out of a senseless situation.
I suppose if I approached this situation with the same "I better make a move or my life may depend on it" attitude I would take on finding an intruder I would be better off.
Yes, (I was counting last night) it's been a year and a half since I found out about my husbands friendfinder profile. That's all there is to know. By sticking around all I've done is become sadder and angrier. Of course I'm not in a financial position to leave and that's what I've been working on since it is the only thing I can do anything about.
So, here is the article that inspired this rant, it's worth reading.
Here is a quote from it that descriptions that moment (with the intruder) when our brains are trying to sort it all out.
"What did I really do, when I discovered my boyfriend had an active online dating account (VIP membership, checked within the past 24 hours). I listened to his ridiculous story about how he’d prepaid for a year. And had just coincidentally looked at it the day before because they kept sending him email. Out of curiosity."

Passwords that are Memorable

I've mentioned before about using the same password if creating multiple profiles and am reminded today and one of the benefits to that system.
Some dating/sex sites send update emails daily or quite often. Others, specially if you don't log in often site don't. This morning I received an update email from a site I had forgotten I was registered on. The email itself didn't have a direct login link (which I prefer) but because I use the same password, I had no trouble logging in.

Until next time,

Jane

Gone But Not Forgotten

I haven't been here for a while. It had nothing to do with the holidays but more frustration.  For the past several months I've had secret access to my husbands alternative email, the one from which all this started where I found his friendfinder profile info. An added bonus lately was that he had his primary email forwarded to this mailbox and I have had access to that too. Then out of the blue he stops the forwarding. Which to me could mean several things.
He suspected I had access, which I sort of doubt because he is so arrogant that he wouldn't even think I had a clue.
He has tired of the online cheating scene, which I also doubt.
Or, he has decided to drop the alternative email address as his point of contact and has opened yet another email account. This is what I think is happening.
Look back at my post about email address that are not officially closed but left open.
So I wonder if he is gearing up again and I'm back to having to check every single email notification from all the online dating/sex sites and check all the profiles that look at mine.

Basically, 2 steps forward and 10 back.

Jane