Just a quick tip for finding out if your mate is registered with a particular dating site.
If you have gone through the trouble of signing up with dating sites that you think your spouse may be on, there is one easy way to find out if they are on that site without having to sort through hundreds of profiles. On some of these sites they will occasionally ask you or have an option to "find your friends". All that is required is that you sign into your email account from their log in (I've had no security issues with this, though of course I am not using my personal email for this) and the site will scan your address book and tell you if any of those people have a profile.
Easy, as long as you have the right address in your email. For instance. I have my husbands new hotmail email in one of my address books but not his aol email and of course if he has more that I don't know about, I can't search them. The other consideration is your email provider. In hotmail, if you add a contact, they want to send that person an invitation...that won't work. But in Yahoo and Aol they don't.
Until next time,
Jane
Monday, November 21, 2011
Sunday, November 20, 2011
BBWPersonalsplus.com
There are two sides to this post, first I'm going to give a review of this site and the other is that after all this time I found a new "old" profile of my husband online.
Periodically I do a Google search for online dating or online sex personals and I go to the top recommended sites and do the profile searches I explained in my post about how to recover passwords and screen names from dating sites.
Because one day, not too long ago my husband asked me if I knew what BBW meant, I clicked on the site BBWPersonalsplus.com, which turns out to be part of the Spark network (on which he had an old profile on Americansingles.com). On the page for forgotten password, I entered his two present email addresses and the old one he used for most of his profiles and there it was, he had a profile from 2001. Long before I met him.
But what gets me is this, we have had several conversations about the subject and every time he says that he never did that and the sheer number of old profiles I have found negate the possibility he tried one out of curiosity, so he's a liar.
Sometimes, a friend will tell me to just ask him, or confront him and I tell them that he will only lie.
Back to BBW Personals Plus...the set up is exactly like American Singles with all the same restrictions.
Read yesterdays post to get those details.
Until next time,
Jane
Periodically I do a Google search for online dating or online sex personals and I go to the top recommended sites and do the profile searches I explained in my post about how to recover passwords and screen names from dating sites.
Because one day, not too long ago my husband asked me if I knew what BBW meant, I clicked on the site BBWPersonalsplus.com, which turns out to be part of the Spark network (on which he had an old profile on Americansingles.com). On the page for forgotten password, I entered his two present email addresses and the old one he used for most of his profiles and there it was, he had a profile from 2001. Long before I met him.
But what gets me is this, we have had several conversations about the subject and every time he says that he never did that and the sheer number of old profiles I have found negate the possibility he tried one out of curiosity, so he's a liar.
Sometimes, a friend will tell me to just ask him, or confront him and I tell them that he will only lie.
Back to BBW Personals Plus...the set up is exactly like American Singles with all the same restrictions.
Read yesterdays post to get those details.
Until next time,
Jane
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
American Singles
I don't think I've mentioned this one, it's part of the Spark Network of dating sites. American Singles which used to be american singles.com, but now is spark.com. Anyway, this was one of the first profiles I found. See my blog about how I found it. But at that time I didn't review the site.
I guessed the password and got right in, there was a picture of my husband...imagine my surprise. Still this was from about two years before we met. He had his physical stats and what he was looking for....nothing kinky but he does have a pattern.
With American Singles or Spark....you can do a search as a non paying member, and read messages but not reply. I didn't see any racy photos, I don't believe they are allowed. In fact if you don't have a picture you can't log in.
I got the impression there are a lot of foreign women (fake or real) that try to make contact. Though this is true on adult friend finder too and their sister sites.
Unfortunately because it was almost ten years ago that he used this site (makes you wonder what is wandering around about yourself on the internet indefinitely) I can't find out much about who he actually contacted. I can find out who he favorited and may have contacted but those members haven't been active for ten years either so there is no email or message trail.
Next time I will review one of Sparks sister sites.
Until then,
Jane
I guessed the password and got right in, there was a picture of my husband...imagine my surprise. Still this was from about two years before we met. He had his physical stats and what he was looking for....nothing kinky but he does have a pattern.
With American Singles or Spark....you can do a search as a non paying member, and read messages but not reply. I didn't see any racy photos, I don't believe they are allowed. In fact if you don't have a picture you can't log in.
I got the impression there are a lot of foreign women (fake or real) that try to make contact. Though this is true on adult friend finder too and their sister sites.
Unfortunately because it was almost ten years ago that he used this site (makes you wonder what is wandering around about yourself on the internet indefinitely) I can't find out much about who he actually contacted. I can find out who he favorited and may have contacted but those members haven't been active for ten years either so there is no email or message trail.
Next time I will review one of Sparks sister sites.
Until then,
Jane
Monday, November 14, 2011
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
A Picture is Worth A Thousand Dates
The online dating sites always tell you that a profile picture will get you more views and therefore more dates. The same is true for blogs...people like to see pictures and I often think of that as I type away a new post here, but then I have to chuckle. How much fun would that be to add into my blog some of the profile pictures I see, males and females showing their most private parts on line for anyone to look at. Really, think about it, posting a face photo is one thing. And as far as eHarmony or Match.com or one of the traditional dating sites, it's not so odd (unless of course you are married or otherwise attached) but to put even a picture of your face on a sex dating site is beyond me.
Which makes me wonder, I know the men do it and apparently don't care but for a woman to do it, seems a little far fetched, which brings me back around to wondering how many of those profiles are fake.
Until next time,
Jane
Which makes me wonder, I know the men do it and apparently don't care but for a woman to do it, seems a little far fetched, which brings me back around to wondering how many of those profiles are fake.
Until next time,
Jane
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Dr Jekyll is Hard to Hyde
What are those sayings?
"The truth will out."
"Water seeks it's own level"
and so forth. In other words eventually things will come out that someone is trying to hide.
When I first found the friendfinder profile that my husband had...this was in Spetember of last year and the profile was started that July. I thought about that summer and it had seemed like I couldn't do anything right...that old saying of "If I say black, he'll say white."
The first thought is that he was unhappy with me, thought I was stupid as he was apt to say and that's why he went online for a relationship. But actually, I think it was that he had to justify it somehow in his mind and so he picked on me. There is no way I am going to be responsible for him behaving badly.
Anyway, the last few months it's as if we had just gotten together...well somewhat. We have had a good time, lots of laughing like we were for the first four years of our relationship...before last summer in fact.
And no, I wasn't fooled, though I was enjoying it. Almost thinking, maybe I can live like this.
Now, this past week give or take a few days, he is going back to mean and nit-picking. So, as I have been hoping, this time I will be on the look out and not miss this part of his cycle as it comes around.
So we will see.
Until next time,
Jane
"The truth will out."
"Water seeks it's own level"
and so forth. In other words eventually things will come out that someone is trying to hide.
When I first found the friendfinder profile that my husband had...this was in Spetember of last year and the profile was started that July. I thought about that summer and it had seemed like I couldn't do anything right...that old saying of "If I say black, he'll say white."
The first thought is that he was unhappy with me, thought I was stupid as he was apt to say and that's why he went online for a relationship. But actually, I think it was that he had to justify it somehow in his mind and so he picked on me. There is no way I am going to be responsible for him behaving badly.
Anyway, the last few months it's as if we had just gotten together...well somewhat. We have had a good time, lots of laughing like we were for the first four years of our relationship...before last summer in fact.
And no, I wasn't fooled, though I was enjoying it. Almost thinking, maybe I can live like this.
Now, this past week give or take a few days, he is going back to mean and nit-picking. So, as I have been hoping, this time I will be on the look out and not miss this part of his cycle as it comes around.
So we will see.
Until next time,
Jane
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Keep a Low Profile
Okay, I have some "splannin" to do Lucy, for my absense....but for now let me give you men some advice.
When writing your dating profile do not use words like "hopelessly, lonely, oh yea and the overused and never believed "I'm new to this or I've never done this before".... even if by chance it is true, don't say so!!
Don't want to see you in your karate uniform (means your not as good as you think you are), nice car, but it doesn't mean I'll go out with you, skip your dog and when guys hold cats for profile pictures, the poor cats always look like hostages!
Why would anyone put a picture of themselves with another woman?!
One time I received a message from a man on friend finder and it was like a small novel...he went on and on about my profile and made it sund very personal to me, but then when I logged in as my 5 other profiles, there was that exact same message in those inboxes too. Very funny actually.
So there's a bit of advice because I'm sure I could think of more if I had time.
For now,
Jane
When writing your dating profile do not use words like "hopelessly, lonely, oh yea and the overused and never believed "I'm new to this or I've never done this before".... even if by chance it is true, don't say so!!
Don't want to see you in your karate uniform (means your not as good as you think you are), nice car, but it doesn't mean I'll go out with you, skip your dog and when guys hold cats for profile pictures, the poor cats always look like hostages!
Why would anyone put a picture of themselves with another woman?!
One time I received a message from a man on friend finder and it was like a small novel...he went on and on about my profile and made it sund very personal to me, but then when I logged in as my 5 other profiles, there was that exact same message in those inboxes too. Very funny actually.
So there's a bit of advice because I'm sure I could think of more if I had time.
For now,
Jane
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Tracker Hacker
So I have a locating service on his cell phone. 99 % of the info I've gotten is that he is exactly where he is suppose to be when he is suppose to be there! In fact, there are even times when he could have hedged his time and told me he was still at work and been somewhere else for a half hour or or more and he didn't.
With one small exception and I don't know what to do with the info.
One day of the week he shoots off to work, gets there earlier than usual and for a half hour before he goes in to work he's parked in the parking lot (it's a very large lot) and here's the issue. He's parked for that period of time in a totally different area than he usually parks in. On a different side of the building than usual, where different people would park than normally park next to him. See where I'm going with this?
I suppose that next week I need to put something on the passenger seat of his vehicle and see if it is gone when he gets home. Maybe a small scrap of paper that would only be affected by someone getting in and out on that side. Something placed from the drivers side, so that it is between the passenger seat and the door and has to fall if the door is opened.
Until then,
Jane
With one small exception and I don't know what to do with the info.
One day of the week he shoots off to work, gets there earlier than usual and for a half hour before he goes in to work he's parked in the parking lot (it's a very large lot) and here's the issue. He's parked for that period of time in a totally different area than he usually parks in. On a different side of the building than usual, where different people would park than normally park next to him. See where I'm going with this?
I suppose that next week I need to put something on the passenger seat of his vehicle and see if it is gone when he gets home. Maybe a small scrap of paper that would only be affected by someone getting in and out on that side. Something placed from the drivers side, so that it is between the passenger seat and the door and has to fall if the door is opened.
Until then,
Jane
Friday, September 23, 2011
Shoulda Coulda Woulda
I ask myself at least once a day, "If I had plenty of money would I leave?" As someone looking on at my situation I would think the answer would be YES!! But looking at it from inside myself, really thinking about the possibility, Im not so sure. There are more reasons than just the online mess that would make me want to leave, but the one fact, the worst fact is that I really like being with him. I always have, it's been the main distinguishing feature of my relationship with him. I've never felt this way about anyone. I miss him when he's gone, it feels like he is part of me. For the first few years I felt as if I had met my other half.
On the other hand, I'm miserable and can't continue like this for long. I do have a fantasy about living somewhere by myself, doing the things I want to do, having my home the way I want it to be. I suppose I don't want to have to go through the inevitable amount of pain it will take to get from her to there, at least not by my initiation. Something more for me to really think about.
Jane
On the other hand, I'm miserable and can't continue like this for long. I do have a fantasy about living somewhere by myself, doing the things I want to do, having my home the way I want it to be. I suppose I don't want to have to go through the inevitable amount of pain it will take to get from her to there, at least not by my initiation. Something more for me to really think about.
Jane
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Coping with all the Emotions of the Online Affairs
As I stated at the beginning of this blog, my only credentials on this subject is that I am going through it, or so I think. In some ways what is going on doesn't seem so clear cut.
For instance, there have been several opportunities where my husband could have covered time... said he was still at work and be doing something else.
There have been no unexplained chunks of time, not even small chunks. How I know that is another post.
So, I decided to sort through some of the other blogs about this subject and founs a very good one, which I think I will revisit often.
<http://surviveyourpartnersaffair.com> by Jeff Murrah.
Today, since my last blog I mentioned just how furious I was feeling..not angry, but blood boiling furious, I found some posts about just that subject. Then it goes on to fear, both of course steps in the grieving process. Because yes, I am grieving because what I though I had for a marriage will never be there.
Back to Jeff Murrah blog. Here is the posts on anger.
For today,
Jane
For instance, there have been several opportunities where my husband could have covered time... said he was still at work and be doing something else.
There have been no unexplained chunks of time, not even small chunks. How I know that is another post.
So, I decided to sort through some of the other blogs about this subject and founs a very good one, which I think I will revisit often.
<http://surviveyourpartnersaffair.com> by Jeff Murrah.
Today, since my last blog I mentioned just how furious I was feeling..not angry, but blood boiling furious, I found some posts about just that subject. Then it goes on to fear, both of course steps in the grieving process. Because yes, I am grieving because what I though I had for a marriage will never be there.
Back to Jeff Murrah blog. Here is the posts on anger.
For today,
Jane
Monday, September 19, 2011
Adultery
I don't think enough can be said about the emotional impact on the cheated on spouse. My feelings are on a roller coaster. If you read previous posts you can see that at times I just tried to see the humor or stupidity in the online dating profiles I saw, other times I am confused, but lately I have been furious. To the point where I didn't think I could keep my mouth shut. It would take hours to calm down.
The last two days I think I have sunk into a depression and worst of all it seems as if my feelings toward him are changing.
I heard someone say once, you'll love them madly, hate them madly, but when there are no feelings is when you know it's over.
Don't know if that is where I am, but there is an emotional chasm opening up.
Jane
The last two days I think I have sunk into a depression and worst of all it seems as if my feelings toward him are changing.
I heard someone say once, you'll love them madly, hate them madly, but when there are no feelings is when you know it's over.
Don't know if that is where I am, but there is an emotional chasm opening up.
Jane
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Confront a Cheating Husband? Probably Not Yet
Since the last post I have gone round and round in my head....it's difficult not to say something...I already made one mistake. I logged in as one of his profiles and viewed his other one. I'm sure he hasn't noticed this yet.
There are a lot of things I need to take care of before I let this blow up in my face.
I found this put very well in an article I found. Here is the link, but the best section for me right now is the one titled "Suspicion Tends to Help Cheaters".
The last thing I want right now is for him to tunnel under ground and hide what he is doing. I know if I confront him right now with what I know he will lie and probably get mad and leave using the excuse that "if that's what you want to believe." I've heard it before. Anyway, I'm trying to keep my cool. Not very easy right now.
Until later,
Jane
There are a lot of things I need to take care of before I let this blow up in my face.
I found this put very well in an article I found. Here is the link, but the best section for me right now is the one titled "Suspicion Tends to Help Cheaters".
The last thing I want right now is for him to tunnel under ground and hide what he is doing. I know if I confront him right now with what I know he will lie and probably get mad and leave using the excuse that "if that's what you want to believe." I've heard it before. Anyway, I'm trying to keep my cool. Not very easy right now.
Until later,
Jane
Thursday, September 8, 2011
A Cheating Spouse Online Now
This wasn't the next post that I planned to write but circumstances dictate it.
Last week I had noticed things seemed awfully quiet on my husbands favorite (for now) online dating sites. (about 6 related sister sites). He works two days a week where he is able to be online and while I am at home I log in to the profiles I set up and look to see if he logs in.
Well, I had noticed a sudden lack of activity, so I thought maybe he had changed his hunting ground, but by a twist of fate, last night I found out the truth.
He was at work and I was logged in to all the sites with his screen name searched for and brought up....let's just call him "cheatingspouse2011" and for some reason, I though that maybe I should start the search fresh, plug in the age range and zip code (thankfully, I live in a relatively small city) and what do I find, but he has a new profile on the same sites......"cheatingspouse20111234".......he didn't even bother to change zip code, or any other details, except that now instead of being divorced looking for nothing serious, he is separated, looking for relationship and marriage.
Am I being fired?!! I was furious.....and really had to follow my own advice and not call and confront him and let myself simmer down. I did manage to log into one of the sites as his new alias and fought the temptation to upload a profile picture for him...namely of a donkeys ass!
So, once again I'm faced with the dichotomy of him and I getting along so well, I enjoy his company, he goes on and on how he loves me and how I better love him, but there he is pulling this crap. It feels like a major mind game. No matter how everything else seems about my life....I can only pretend for so long that the core isn't rotten. There are things I need to take care of before I can afford to say anything. I need to pay down my debt and wait on some family issues.
So for now,
Jane
Last week I had noticed things seemed awfully quiet on my husbands favorite (for now) online dating sites. (about 6 related sister sites). He works two days a week where he is able to be online and while I am at home I log in to the profiles I set up and look to see if he logs in.
Well, I had noticed a sudden lack of activity, so I thought maybe he had changed his hunting ground, but by a twist of fate, last night I found out the truth.
He was at work and I was logged in to all the sites with his screen name searched for and brought up....let's just call him "cheatingspouse2011" and for some reason, I though that maybe I should start the search fresh, plug in the age range and zip code (thankfully, I live in a relatively small city) and what do I find, but he has a new profile on the same sites......"cheatingspouse20111234".......he didn't even bother to change zip code, or any other details, except that now instead of being divorced looking for nothing serious, he is separated, looking for relationship and marriage.
Am I being fired?!! I was furious.....and really had to follow my own advice and not call and confront him and let myself simmer down. I did manage to log into one of the sites as his new alias and fought the temptation to upload a profile picture for him...namely of a donkeys ass!
So, once again I'm faced with the dichotomy of him and I getting along so well, I enjoy his company, he goes on and on how he loves me and how I better love him, but there he is pulling this crap. It feels like a major mind game. No matter how everything else seems about my life....I can only pretend for so long that the core isn't rotten. There are things I need to take care of before I can afford to say anything. I need to pay down my debt and wait on some family issues.
So for now,
Jane
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Are You Married to a Cheating Spouse?
How do you find a cheating husband? A lot of ways. Today, I'm going to talk about free online people searches.
First of all I want to mention that if you do searches using any of these search options today...you need to repeat them occasionally. Information changes and I found that new information, screen names, email addresses don't show up right away. Oh, and sometimes they don't show up at all. My husband has an extra email address....or two or three, and they don't show up using theses options.
The other caution I will mention is that sometimes these people searches combine information of two people. So don't make a rash decision based on what you find until you have done more fact finding.
In other words, these ideas are just options and what you find may send you in a direction to find out what you really need to know.
If you google people searches you will come up with probably all these sites I'm going to mention. Why do I bother mentioning them? Because using them is part of my story and I want to give you my personal experience with them.
there is 123people.com, wink, isearch, radaris, pipl and spokeo that I have used the most. And there is always good old whitepages.com, your basic online phone book.
Wink seems to base most of it's information on MyLife....which I know for a fact isn't always correct and you can't view the information anyway...unless of course you have a paid MyLife account.
123people.com gives you a lot of information for your search but obviously a lot of what you find is determined by the name you are searching for...how common is it...the size of the town or city and any other distinguishing details about a person. You can search by email, phone number etc.
I like Radaris...though it can be overwhelming it does give you a lot of information to go through.
I use Pipl.com and Spokeo.com a lot. Search for yourself and see how much information comes up (it's a good idea to do this periodically anyway) and see how accurate it is. Never correct anything by the links offered to you on any of the sites. A lot of the information these sites have are given to them...so don't make it easy for them to have your information.
One of the frustrations I experience is that a lot of the information returned is from social networking sites....and yes, I did find a myspace profile on my husband where he says he is single, but for the most part I'm hoping to find info on dating sites. I haven't found as of yet, a dating profile search engine. Though sometimes Google.com is the best way to go. google your spouses' email, screen name, even name plus location. I googled my husband friend finder profile name and came up with two hits.
The same as with the dating sites....using these search engines will give you information that can be ignored on other sites....screen names of other people come up here and you'll see them elsewhere. The same tip I gave you in a previous post.
Don't forget, if you have an experience I'd like to hear it and share the information or if you have a question you can send me a message and I'll answer it on my blog so everyone can benefit and you can remain anonymous.
Until then,
Jane
First of all I want to mention that if you do searches using any of these search options today...you need to repeat them occasionally. Information changes and I found that new information, screen names, email addresses don't show up right away. Oh, and sometimes they don't show up at all. My husband has an extra email address....or two or three, and they don't show up using theses options.
The other caution I will mention is that sometimes these people searches combine information of two people. So don't make a rash decision based on what you find until you have done more fact finding.
In other words, these ideas are just options and what you find may send you in a direction to find out what you really need to know.
If you google people searches you will come up with probably all these sites I'm going to mention. Why do I bother mentioning them? Because using them is part of my story and I want to give you my personal experience with them.
there is 123people.com, wink, isearch, radaris, pipl and spokeo that I have used the most. And there is always good old whitepages.com, your basic online phone book.
Wink seems to base most of it's information on MyLife....which I know for a fact isn't always correct and you can't view the information anyway...unless of course you have a paid MyLife account.
123people.com gives you a lot of information for your search but obviously a lot of what you find is determined by the name you are searching for...how common is it...the size of the town or city and any other distinguishing details about a person. You can search by email, phone number etc.
I like Radaris...though it can be overwhelming it does give you a lot of information to go through.
I use Pipl.com and Spokeo.com a lot. Search for yourself and see how much information comes up (it's a good idea to do this periodically anyway) and see how accurate it is. Never correct anything by the links offered to you on any of the sites. A lot of the information these sites have are given to them...so don't make it easy for them to have your information.
One of the frustrations I experience is that a lot of the information returned is from social networking sites....and yes, I did find a myspace profile on my husband where he says he is single, but for the most part I'm hoping to find info on dating sites. I haven't found as of yet, a dating profile search engine. Though sometimes Google.com is the best way to go. google your spouses' email, screen name, even name plus location. I googled my husband friend finder profile name and came up with two hits.
The same as with the dating sites....using these search engines will give you information that can be ignored on other sites....screen names of other people come up here and you'll see them elsewhere. The same tip I gave you in a previous post.
Don't forget, if you have an experience I'd like to hear it and share the information or if you have a question you can send me a message and I'll answer it on my blog so everyone can benefit and you can remain anonymous.
Until then,
Jane
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Where to Look for that Cheating Spouse
Okay, so you are 95% certain he or she is "looking for love" online and may have even found it. If you want to go the route of setting up your own profile in order to catch him and have that evidence in order to make your next move first you have to decide where to look for him.
If you have nothing to go on, no sneak peeks at a website or email, there are several places to start.
His email provider...they all have ads in their emails (with few exceptions) you've even seen them in your email. See which dating sites his email is promoting. Go to the browser he uses and search for
"online dating", "sex personals" etc and see what the top ten hits are....aim for the free ones first, unless you have credit card receipts with something suspicious on them.
Don't forget to check the ones you see advertised on T.V.
Then there is the matter of sister sites. If he is on AFF, they have at least a dozen sister sites, some more freebie oriented than others.
Until next time,
Jane
If you have nothing to go on, no sneak peeks at a website or email, there are several places to start.
His email provider...they all have ads in their emails (with few exceptions) you've even seen them in your email. See which dating sites his email is promoting. Go to the browser he uses and search for
"online dating", "sex personals" etc and see what the top ten hits are....aim for the free ones first, unless you have credit card receipts with something suspicious on them.
Don't forget to check the ones you see advertised on T.V.
Then there is the matter of sister sites. If he is on AFF, they have at least a dozen sister sites, some more freebie oriented than others.
Until next time,
Jane
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Adultfriendfinder Better for Men or Women
The past few days I've been doing a little experiment. I've logged in to adultfriendfinder as both my husbands profile and one I created as a woman.
As a man I've hotlisted and/or winked at over 60 women. Only two have browsed my profile, none have contacted or flirted with me and whenever I tried to contact one through the chat feature they were never available. But the oddest thing was that shortly after I hotlisted a woman it seemed that she logged in. Could be coincidence. I resorted to trying to interact to the women without profile pictures...it's always been my suspicion that the ones without a picture are more likely to be real.
Anyway, logged in as a woman I've been getting several views and messages a day......and as a woman I don't look at any male profiles and I certainly don't hotlist or flirt. If I log into the chat feature I'm bombarded with chat requests.....and no I don't have a picture. Hmmmm, I suppose that negates my theory about non picture profiles and possibly that is what is happening to the women I try to contact as a man...they are being bombarded, specially the ones with sexy pictures.
Thought I would share with you my experiment. I've always suspected that men were more likely to throw money at a shot at 'dating' a woman for sex than a woman would, so the dating sites use women's profiles to lure men in......give them enough to keep them interested but not enough to satisfy them so they are likely to shell out the money.
Oh well, until next time.
Jane
As a man I've hotlisted and/or winked at over 60 women. Only two have browsed my profile, none have contacted or flirted with me and whenever I tried to contact one through the chat feature they were never available. But the oddest thing was that shortly after I hotlisted a woman it seemed that she logged in. Could be coincidence. I resorted to trying to interact to the women without profile pictures...it's always been my suspicion that the ones without a picture are more likely to be real.
Anyway, logged in as a woman I've been getting several views and messages a day......and as a woman I don't look at any male profiles and I certainly don't hotlist or flirt. If I log into the chat feature I'm bombarded with chat requests.....and no I don't have a picture. Hmmmm, I suppose that negates my theory about non picture profiles and possibly that is what is happening to the women I try to contact as a man...they are being bombarded, specially the ones with sexy pictures.
Thought I would share with you my experiment. I've always suspected that men were more likely to throw money at a shot at 'dating' a woman for sex than a woman would, so the dating sites use women's profiles to lure men in......give them enough to keep them interested but not enough to satisfy them so they are likely to shell out the money.
Oh well, until next time.
Jane
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
10 Members Interested In You
Summer 2010, apparently my husband took out an online profile on Friendfinder.com. This will be the first one I found that he signed up for since he and I have been together. If you've read my other posts you will know that I found old, inactive profiles from two years before we met.
I had actually stopped looking......checking the traps I had set several years ago, but he accidently gave me the proof.
It was September 2010 and he asked me to help him with his email (not unusual, as savvy as he thinks he is, he misses the smallest details of online apps), he said he was having trouble logging in. He gave me a hotmail email (news to me). I asked why he had the new email...he said he was getting too much spam in his aol account....okay, I'll play along. So he gives me the log in and password. Hmmmm, jdell6606......his first initial, computer he uses and his favorite numbers...as explained in a previous post <http://isyourhusbandcheatingonyou.blogspot.com/2011/06/my-husband-has-left-trail-of-email.html>.
So I help him...his inbox, sent and trash are all squeaky clean.
A few days later he goes out of town on business (something he hasn't had to do in a few years so it was unexpected).
I know from previous experience that he doesn't have much chance to check his email the first few days on a job so I frequently check it myself. Sure enough, on the second day there's an email from Friendfinder.com stating that three members are interested in jdell6606. It's his information, no doubt, no picture though. As I look at all the information I see that he opened the account at the end of July. Suddenly the summer makes sense. He was annoyed with me all summer, I couldn't do anything right, he was argumentative and I was getting those check in phone calls when he worked overnight. You know the kind....they call out of the blue to see where you are and if there's any chance of you showing up. I won't make that mistake.....if he calls like that again, I'll say I'm busy and show up to see what he's hiding. Some people think the grumpy disposition is based on guilt but I think it was his way of convincing himself he didn't care for me or find me attractive.
Anyway, I printed out the information in case he went back in and deleted the account.
A few days after he came home I confronted him and his explanation was "I didn't open that account, they must have gotten his information from his aol account." Amazing, like a psychopath actually. And he stuck to his lie like glue. Funny, too because the information (including the user named based on his brand new email account) couldn't be gleaned from any of his online information.
So this is the first step in the chain of events that brought me to starting this blog.
Until next time,
Jane
I had actually stopped looking......checking the traps I had set several years ago, but he accidently gave me the proof.
It was September 2010 and he asked me to help him with his email (not unusual, as savvy as he thinks he is, he misses the smallest details of online apps), he said he was having trouble logging in. He gave me a hotmail email (news to me). I asked why he had the new email...he said he was getting too much spam in his aol account....okay, I'll play along. So he gives me the log in and password. Hmmmm, jdell6606......his first initial, computer he uses and his favorite numbers...as explained in a previous post <http://isyourhusbandcheatingonyou.blogspot.com/2011/06/my-husband-has-left-trail-of-email.html>.
So I help him...his inbox, sent and trash are all squeaky clean.
A few days later he goes out of town on business (something he hasn't had to do in a few years so it was unexpected).
I know from previous experience that he doesn't have much chance to check his email the first few days on a job so I frequently check it myself. Sure enough, on the second day there's an email from Friendfinder.com stating that three members are interested in jdell6606. It's his information, no doubt, no picture though. As I look at all the information I see that he opened the account at the end of July. Suddenly the summer makes sense. He was annoyed with me all summer, I couldn't do anything right, he was argumentative and I was getting those check in phone calls when he worked overnight. You know the kind....they call out of the blue to see where you are and if there's any chance of you showing up. I won't make that mistake.....if he calls like that again, I'll say I'm busy and show up to see what he's hiding. Some people think the grumpy disposition is based on guilt but I think it was his way of convincing himself he didn't care for me or find me attractive.
Anyway, I printed out the information in case he went back in and deleted the account.
A few days after he came home I confronted him and his explanation was "I didn't open that account, they must have gotten his information from his aol account." Amazing, like a psychopath actually. And he stuck to his lie like glue. Funny, too because the information (including the user named based on his brand new email account) couldn't be gleaned from any of his online information.
So this is the first step in the chain of events that brought me to starting this blog.
Until next time,
Jane
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
To Tell or Not to Tell
The age old questions: "If I know a friend's husband or wife is cheating, do I tell them?"
Since I have numerous, possibly dozens of online profiles in at least a dozen sites (no, they are not me or my stats....just bait for my husband....and yes, he has bitten....more about that later), I have wondered if I would see anyone I knew and it has happened. I have seen people I recognized from the area but I didn't actually know them or who they are....imagine how strange it was to be having a yard sale and look up to see a man I had seen on one of the sites!!
Anyway, I have seen a pathetic profile for a man that both my husband and I know, he is single, but knowing him, he's not a catch at all and seeing his picture....he's not attractive at all.....I'm talking "Larry, Daryl and Daryl" from the Newhart Show. But....good luck to him and who ever responds to him.
Then there is another man, both my husband and I know, that is married, but he states so in his profiles and I know that he and his wife have an 'open marriage', whatever that is.
But it still makes me wonder what I would do if confronted with that situation and would someone let me know if they knew about my husband.
Interestingly enough, last summer my cell phone rang and when I picked it up I heard a woman speaking....as if I had come in in the middle of the conversation. I thought it was a friend of mine and I started talking to her, saying her name.....it almost sounded like she was leaving a voice mail. I am from the generation of picking up a landline and interrupting someone as they were leaving a message and that is how this felt to me. So I paused for a minute in time to hear her say "I thought you should know" and she hung up. I checked incoming and missed calls....nothing and no voicemail. I realized it wasn't my friend and have never figured it out, even combing though my cell phone bill for incoming numbers.
The timing coincided with an online profile my husband had on friend finder, though I didn't know that until two months after the call.
Next post will be about that profile and how I found it and what I did.
Until then
Jane
Since I have numerous, possibly dozens of online profiles in at least a dozen sites (no, they are not me or my stats....just bait for my husband....and yes, he has bitten....more about that later), I have wondered if I would see anyone I knew and it has happened. I have seen people I recognized from the area but I didn't actually know them or who they are....imagine how strange it was to be having a yard sale and look up to see a man I had seen on one of the sites!!
Anyway, I have seen a pathetic profile for a man that both my husband and I know, he is single, but knowing him, he's not a catch at all and seeing his picture....he's not attractive at all.....I'm talking "Larry, Daryl and Daryl" from the Newhart Show. But....good luck to him and who ever responds to him.
Then there is another man, both my husband and I know, that is married, but he states so in his profiles and I know that he and his wife have an 'open marriage', whatever that is.
But it still makes me wonder what I would do if confronted with that situation and would someone let me know if they knew about my husband.
Interestingly enough, last summer my cell phone rang and when I picked it up I heard a woman speaking....as if I had come in in the middle of the conversation. I thought it was a friend of mine and I started talking to her, saying her name.....it almost sounded like she was leaving a voice mail. I am from the generation of picking up a landline and interrupting someone as they were leaving a message and that is how this felt to me. So I paused for a minute in time to hear her say "I thought you should know" and she hung up. I checked incoming and missed calls....nothing and no voicemail. I realized it wasn't my friend and have never figured it out, even combing though my cell phone bill for incoming numbers.
The timing coincided with an online profile my husband had on friend finder, though I didn't know that until two months after the call.
Next post will be about that profile and how I found it and what I did.
Until then
Jane
Monday, August 1, 2011
Fake Online Dating Profiles
A word about fake profiles....yes, I've created a few, but when creating a dating profile on any of the sites I have already mentioned or will mention in the future, a profile photo is optional. In it's place is an obviously male or female grey silhouette.
What I discovered the other day was the website http://www.digimarc.com. The reason I came across this was that I was trying to figure out how to put a watermark in a picture. What I found out was that with digimarc, you can put an electronic watermark in your photos and locate them online and see how they are being used. Which brings me to the reason I've gone techie for the moment. From what I have seen on these dating sites are photos, both head shots and nudes or partial nudes. Some of these seem to me to be fake profiles. Why I think they are fake I will go into later this week, but the bottom line is that there are fake profiles with profile pictures, which means someone's passport photo, graduation photo, resume pic or naughty photo is being used by someone else. Yes, there are people that put nude photos of themselves online...and that is their business but I'm positive that those photos are being used to spice up fake profiles.
If I were to use any sort of photo of myself online, I would certainly consider using digimarc.
Imagine, you are feeling bold and you take out a profile on Adult Friend Finder and post a sexy photo of yourself. You add the digimarc and by tracking that photo you can find out if it has been used to create a profile on another site, or is being posted on a porn site.
Better yet, if you are suspicious of your spouse, add digimarc to all digital photos and you can see if he or she has taken that great pic of the two of you, taken at your friend's wedding and cut you out in order to use it to get hook ups.
Also a good idea to make sure no weirdos are using your children's pics, innocuous as they may be.
What I discovered the other day was the website http://www.digimarc.com. The reason I came across this was that I was trying to figure out how to put a watermark in a picture. What I found out was that with digimarc, you can put an electronic watermark in your photos and locate them online and see how they are being used. Which brings me to the reason I've gone techie for the moment. From what I have seen on these dating sites are photos, both head shots and nudes or partial nudes. Some of these seem to me to be fake profiles. Why I think they are fake I will go into later this week, but the bottom line is that there are fake profiles with profile pictures, which means someone's passport photo, graduation photo, resume pic or naughty photo is being used by someone else. Yes, there are people that put nude photos of themselves online...and that is their business but I'm positive that those photos are being used to spice up fake profiles.
If I were to use any sort of photo of myself online, I would certainly consider using digimarc.
Imagine, you are feeling bold and you take out a profile on Adult Friend Finder and post a sexy photo of yourself. You add the digimarc and by tracking that photo you can find out if it has been used to create a profile on another site, or is being posted on a porn site.
Better yet, if you are suspicious of your spouse, add digimarc to all digital photos and you can see if he or she has taken that great pic of the two of you, taken at your friend's wedding and cut you out in order to use it to get hook ups.
Also a good idea to make sure no weirdos are using your children's pics, innocuous as they may be.
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